My Fellow Americans

what does it take for software to change? an online update? new software? what does it take for a day to change? 24 hours? what does it take for a season to change? several hours? a few months time? what does it take for a person to change? the only thing that can truly change a person is a life changing event, kid being born, near death experience, an extremely hard time in ones life. or... the strict decision to change; i was eating dinner with my Grandpa one night and he decided he wasn't going to eat butter anymore, so he set down the butter and hasn't touched it again, that was 5 yrs ago. i need to make a strict decision to change when it comes to smoking cigarettes. this is a very simple game, find something in your life you don't like and change it, go find true happiness wherever it hides. don't be influenced my the Majority OR the minority's make a choice for yourself, have reasons for your choice. just in case i confuzzed your muzzle back there I'll give you an example: you want to go rob a bank. your reasoning is that you planed on how to do it, your prepared to accept the good and bad consequences of this act. and the risks involved.



well kids this is it, I'm off on another adventure, don't worry i packed a lunch. my travels only take me up the road a wee bit, but I'll be back and don't worry I'll bring my smile. and I'll have time off to "kick it" with you all, if i was a boat I'd be called "The Weekender" or possibly "Recess" you know its funny...ish in this time of sadness me leaving my friends i cant seem to come up with anything funny to say, understandable i know, but how lame is that? another plan could be i just start a payment plan with all of you in the event that you all promise to laugh during my ferice mono-logging that's another thing; Smart Water? that's like an oxymoron, water doesn't have a brain or move on its own free will, its like Jumbo Shrimp, sushi chef, kung fu panda, pandas are lazy as shit, that's why they don't hurt anyone. walking fish, gentle man, smoke-free tobacco, Myth-Busters, that's why there a myth! gas prices! i don't know why they just are... just go with it, its the ""cool"" thing to do.



This is a blog I've been meaning to write for a while now, most of you were probably waiting for my next installment of Cam's weekly show, you tuned in I'm sure to fine no new episode, but I'll tell you what, i am pretty sure they have computers with Internet access there so if i get online with enough time I'll keep you posted on the where abouts of the one ring that would rule them all to find them and bind them. (that was a reference to the Lord of the Rings for all you non-nerd folk) unfortunately lightning does strike twice in the same spot, as Chuck's season finale has come and gone, and Chuck viewers everywhere are forced to wait till the 3rd season. damn that's depressing so check this out...



Cori...

i know even as you are reading this you are also missing me, but don't cry or worry, i am missing you as well. i believe the plans for that road trip are already being planed. so i look forward to you showing all of us your town of origin here very soon. and Smile, for I'll be counting the day's also.



Jorden...

guess you'll be smoking alone here soon. witch in my opinion is better, its my preference, lets me get organized up here. as opposed to me, who will be smoking with a bunch of kids who are most likely ...still talking about high school. i get to be annoyed every time i go for a smoke, trust me silence is better, but i like the company also, and look forward to smoking again with you here soon. and remember: "what? you cant stand a little discomfort?"



Sam....

get a blog so we don't have to keep saying, "well i know you'll never read this but.." your a good and trusted friend, one of the few I go to for council, stay strong and use the force when necessary and when in doubt just remember wwcnd? What Would Chuck Norris Do?



Dee...

i will always keep our cookie secrets, if you find outrageous amounts of drama happening at Target and you find yourself in need of a smile, go read some of the quotes, that's why i started writing them down. for this moment when i knew it would be time to leave you all.



Nessa...

i haven't known you long but some how you still laugh at basically anything that comes out of my mouth, this is always fun for me because i don't have to put much effort into making you smile and laugh. when in doubt look at the soda machine at your place of employment keep looking at it until you remember to just bust out laughing, and if that doesn't work, just remember the madin voyage of our apt's ice cube tray's and that should do the trick.



Alyse...

i think i spelled it right, if not you can yell at me when you see me. last but i would never say least. you and me have the same ...i like to call it a gift. you can call it what you will. we share this gift with every president and artist and musician in the world. its called "open eyes" it means we have an elevated alertness to detail, it allows us to read ppl very well, knowing instantly whats got them down. keep this gift. and remember what i told you about school: work hard for a few yrs so you don't have to work hard for the rest of your life. build good study habits now, you'll need them in high school, and you have to perfect it for collage, my study skills are about to be tested.

"i still laugh when the Katsup farts"

"Where are the microwave directions?"-Sam

thought i'd throw in two because of my lack of blogs.

as always,

Stay Tuned~

Cameron

GOOOOOOOD MORNING SALT LAKE! its 0600 what does the "0" stand for? Oh my god its early!





our first caller this morning comes all the way from Bountiful, Utah, caller your on-

"thank you Cameron, just wanted to say I'm a huge fan of your show, long time reader first time caller"

thank you, thank you, whats on you mind?

"well I'm kind of suicidal, I've been cutting for a long time, well ok let me rephrase that- I've been cutting my cat for a long time. i guess he's the crazy one"

lucky for you, there's a really simple solution to this whole thing: Stop cutting you cat, rumor has it, they don't like that, but hey, i wouldn't know, i don't speak cat, ask a Dog.

This next caller comes from Provo, Utah caller your live-

"ummm, hey I'm not really sure how to say this, I've never been on a ...show before, and its kind of a personal issue,"

Don't worry about that, no one really listens to this show anyway,

"if you say so... i guess the only way to solve this is to come out and say it. I am a Sex Addict"

your a sex addict and your from Provo?

"yes, don't bother, I've heard all the jokes"

how many people know about this, if you've heard all the jokes?

"well at first i was trying to keep... Fuck this! are you going to help me or what?"

i cant just tell you to stop having sex, its how your body deals with its natural desires, it ties the bond between two people and in some religions considered very sacred

"So how would you suggest i continue?"

be careful who your sexual partners are, and be sure to always protect yourself

"much thanks, I'll be sure to write back if anything else comes up"

your welcome, glad i could help. Next caller

"...beep"

..and on that note i think I'm going to pass the ball off to Dan "the Man" Levitain A.K.A Mr. Exciting!

-Thank you Cameron. Someone raised the question: Can Bees Think?

a recent study shows that No they cannot...

wahhooo! second.

so i figured out something, i really hate... (i know what your thinking, and this is NOT another segment on stupid ppl) people who come to me for advice and don't listen to the advice i have given them, there wasting my time and there's. if there not going to bother attempting to apply what i have told them, (i know in some cases they have discovered a better route in witch case its fine) i mean what the fuck? i tell some people to do A,B, and C, and they act completely oblivious to what i told them, and a few weeks (if not sooner) they find themselves in the exact same situation when they come back to me for advice, i wanna shot "i told you so" but I'm just too nice for that, so of course I'll help them again..and again, and usually again. and maybe hate is too strong of a word for it, but its one of those things that i know will eat at me for awhile. when i offer my ears to aid the life of another human being and there coming to me in hopes that I'll help them, i consider the situation and come up with (in my opinion) the very best advice, i tell them how it is, and explain why its this way, yet later they seem to be completely oblivious to all the facts. i could have been doing something else with my time, i dint wake up every morning to serve, i wake up cuz i have shit to do, but if i can spare some time for a friend, of course I'll help them, over and over again. i guess its just frustrating, watching a good friend suffer. not to say i am always right about everything. but they did come to me for advice right? they sought my council, so i gave it to them. i don't know, sounds just like i am bitching about something, but this is well thought out and its a valid complaint.

"Which one do you want? The one infested with chocolate or the other one?"-Dee

Stay Tuned~

Cameron

Wanna read about me ramble on?

ok kids, what should this weeks episode be about? after alot of thought, its going to be about pink post-its, there impact on the world, and where there going to be in 5 yrs. had you going?
me nether.


seems to me that no mater how simple the world gets or predictable for that matter, it still seems to surprise me at times. no matter how predictable Sam is at poker every now and then he shows up with 4 of a kind. no matter how many times you tell your self your going to do something, you always end up doing something else. no matter how many times you throw wood chips at Jorden he always seems to throw some back. no matter how many times you take a piss, you aways have to go again. no matter how many times your roommate comes running out of his room in his boxers screaming "wheres the fucking Cheese-its?" you'll still buy some more. No matter how many run on sentences i come up with you'll still keep reading. Is there a point to this madness? Nope

why is it when i do finally try to open up, i end up closing up again? i guess i don't like feeling vulnerable, and so i cover it up with humor over and over again? sound pathetic yet? it should, and it does.

Oh, i saw this weeks Chuck episode, it...was... Awesome!

i ate a good dinner (pizza) i had good times, (with Cori, Jorden, and Nessa and a small children's park) its late and i have good tunes playing, (Family Force 5), my face hurts from blowing up balloon's, (i finally got the knot tie in down, plenty of practice) I'm trying to shit blogs but its not working out. we'll give it a try together!

oh Shit!

on a side not i just saw Jorden 'the custodian" casually sweeping balloons down the hallway humming that 70's shows' theme song.

ok forgive me, i haven been in a relationship for almost 10 months and I'm still trying to get the "boyfriend thing down, give me some time, I'll get used to it. its interesting, learning to be self-reliant for so long and now having to learn to be dependent.

Squirrel!

oh, we have a web cam now, so we can broadcast out outrageous retardation's live across the web! well, when it works we'll be able to.

so I've been seriously deliberating deleting my myyearbook account, i just seem to waste time on there, not to mention the number of ... disturbing ppl i meet on there, i think there called online friends for a reason.

sorry i didn't deliver on this one, I'll try harder next week.
Stay tuned~
Cameron

If James Bond Was a Pizza Driver...

we interrupt you week to bring you a special broadcast. so bring you an especially entertaining conversation i recently had. Enjoy


Cameron says:
monkey
*A l l e r i a* says:
monkeys and pancakes.
Cameron says:
and strawberry's
*A l l e r i a* says:
strawberry buildings.
Cameron says:
and mt dew
*A l l e r i a* says:
and corn dogs.
Cameron says:
and katsup
*A l l e r i a* says:
and five buck pizza.
Cameron says:
with extra pepperoni
*A l l e r i a* says:
and cheese in the crust.
Cameron says:
in a box
.. a 5 buck box
James box
*A l l e r i a* says:
in a...cardboard five buck box.
with fancy writing on the front.
Cameron says:
in a James bond 5 buck box
*A l l e r i a* says:
Ohh...in an aston martin delivery car.
Cameron says:
with cool tires
*A l l e r i a* says:
and a sexy license plate
Cameron says:
with missiles behind the headlights
*A l l e r i a* says:
and time bombs that come out of the exhaust pipe
Cameron says:
along with the exhaust!
*A l l e r i a* says:
Ohh yes, to prevent explosions and such...
The windshield is really a computer screen, a touch screen.
Cameron says:
and voice activated
*A l l e r i a* says:
and randomly...bluetooth.
Cameron says:
plus its an automatic
*A l l e r i a* says:
With the option of being manual
Cameron says:
with ejectable seats!
*A l l e r i a* says:
heated, ejectable seats!
Cameron says:
most ppl say "you got 30 mins" he only needs 29
*A l l e r i a* says:
He only needs 29, but he will be there in 28
Cameron says:
props.
with MD shaken not stirred
*A l l e r i a* says:
nonono, it's subjective, because James doesn't give a damn.
Cameron says:
005 is now confused
*A l l e r i a* says:
in the movie..."Shaken or stirred?" "Does it look like I give a damn?!"
Cameron says:
ya but what do you expect? it was his first time being bond
*A l l e r i a* says:
So you think he decides shaken is the best?
Cameron says:
shaken mixes the drink better, that's why its bonds choice, but it takes longer and usually the bar keep doesn't want to
unless the customer orders it
*A l l e r i a* says:
And then, since it's the extra thing it has to be Bond's first choice.
Cameron says:
however bond showed up in no more than 27 mins with and extra cold beverage, AND didn't ask for a tip!
*A l l e r i a* says:
This is true. And then he proceeds to get laid by the person he was delivering to, because he was so irresistible.
Cameron says:
even if it was a guy
*A l l e r i a* says:
...if it was a guy, then he fucks the guys sister who happened to be chilling with him.
Cameron says:
well i just didn't say the last part
*A l l e r i a* says:
Wait, bond is a girl?
Cameron says:
caution:your experiencing a blonde moment
*A l l e r i a* says:
Riiiiight...nevermind. I get it...

hope you enjoyed it, it was the very essence of randomness, arguably the source of all randomness.

stay tuned because you never know when an episode will strike~
Cameron