This just in

I miss my Coriann

someone gave me a suttle hint to post a blog.. so here i am

i was just sitting here and decided to post a blog, alot of things happened to me this week, Top of the list me and Cori, decided it would be better to be "Just friends" as much as it pisses me off. i want to be with her. i care about her so much. its like trying to live with just one lung since we broke up. its hard to breathe. she was right for me. she took care of me, truly my better half. and here i sit, Coriannless. should be a medical condition, cuz in my opinion i need medical attention i hurt so bad. i care about her so much that i broke up with her to save her from me. to save her time. so she wouldn't wast it on me. instead of using it for more important things. I believe this is what she wants, even though she doesn't see it now, she will someday. and she'll understand how much this hurts then. i know she's in pain, but i know that pain will not last forever. and someday she'll understand that this was what had to happen. It truly was best for both of us. and i hope we can remain friends. but talking to her is opening a wound and digging around in it. so i hope she'll be patient with me. I'm hurting, but it was a bullet i had to take for the one i care about. (being "my" Cori) She'll find happiness out there. if not I'll still be here, several years from now and I'll still take you. every year, you will always be my Valentine. every time i get drunk, i will always consider myself to be "2 sheets to the wind" . I will always be distracted from whatever I'm doing, just thinking about you. "is she happy?" "does she miss me" "whats she up to" " how many jelly beans did she eat today?" (as many as she wants but as long as at least one of them is banana).

Next big shocker, Juke died. holy shit, a part of all of us got hit with that car along with him. part of me wished i didn't know so i would still think he is safely chasing some mammal.
i posted a comment with my thoughts on this on Nessa's blog so that's where my respects have been laid to rest with him.

Third, my week at the radio station isn't bad, it takes me two hours to get there and two hours to get back so i spend most of my days on a bus now. met some interesting ppl, tryed to quit smoking this week, yep you've guessed it. I FAILED. so ya, try again later i guess.

Fourth of all. (haha) my boss at the radio station gave me a Three on my evaluation score, being average! then again she hasn't met any of the other Job Corps students. so i can kinda see why. but its a Bullshit reason why. check this out! "because i call her Mame and she's not used to it" WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! YOU PHYCO BITCH. ITS JUST HOW I AM, ITS A SIGN OF RESPECT YOU RETARDED FUCK. i worked harder for a lower evaluation score!? i showed respect when i didn't have to. fuck you too bitch. i spent 4 hours on the bus for 3 hours of work. and you gave me a shitty score? when you tell your college's and my Work Base Learning coordinator that you enjoy my hard work ethic? and that you want to adopt me cuz I'm such a good worker? take one big step back and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE


thank you all for reading about me bitch about life.
umm stay tuned or something....... guess i dont really care about much anymore.


Cameron~

Long time No Blog!?!?!?

So here i sit at this ... excuse for a computer. Pretty sure they found all of our computers in a dumpster. Government quality for sure. read a few of the newly posted blogs. wasted my time watching Fired Up. this critics review is " Don't Watch it, for the love of God Don't watch it" so i walked out, smoked a cig and played some hacky sac. got bored so here i am. almost mastered a few more tricks. Oh i stayed after in class today and made it to 60% complete so potentially i could be done with the program in October. but i want to stay for the free collage thing. more work but I'll be glad i did. i should be 75% complete by Friday. i just feel so .. distracted this week. time seems to slip threw my fingers like sand. i say hi to someone look at my watch and 2 hours have gone by. played some Call of duty 4 yesterday and the day before it was weired not having a controller in my hand, and trying to do the something with a keyboard. but the second time around i got the hang of it again. started getting my 12 kills to every 2 deaths. because the skills are there i just don't seem to know all the controls for the keyboard. I'm starting a tradition, every night i have to watch futurama before i go to bed. it seems to help. cant wait till this weekend. all i have been thinking about is how nice those hot springs are going to be. i think i accidentally told DJ about it so that's why he wanted to go. this time he's bringing his GF so at least who ever babysits 'The Drunken Few' will have some company. i seem to be running out of cigarettes so quickly now. i smoke almost 3 a day and every time i look in my pack I'm missing more than I'm smoking. cig's are like a religion here. you can barley even whisper "I'm going to go smoke a smokety-smoke" without 12 ppl trying to share just one. so i say No allot. that's the other thing is some crazy idea got around that is causing ppl to think that they can Hacky Sack! me and DJ seem to be the only ones with any talent at the sport. (yes its a sport. it has rules) I'm just so busy all the time. i do all i have to as quickly as i can along with the best i can. and somehow i seem to be going to bed late. its like some sort of weird time continuum. maybe its less that i want to go to the hot springs and more that i want to get away from ... PPL!!!
its like a self-sustaining community of moochers. and chimmy smokers. and Whores. (yes i said it. however mean it still remains true) and liers and thieves and kids. truly a different planet. but this is our society. this is our generation. the older generations have taken our jobs. and now we sit at job corps. the baby boomers have taken all the Governments money. we truly will be taking taxes up the ass until our kids our married and can take over. oh ya that's IF North Korea doesn't nuke the shit out of the planet. ... Oh and That's if The world doesn't end with the Mayan calender. if you catch yourself saying "Fuck" its involuntary just accept it. but just think of how strong mankind will be when we overcome these high hurtles. so if your reading this get ahold of someone who knows Kevin a.k.a. "Bacon" tell him i want to do some drinking this weekend and i would like to hang out with him also. tell him DJ is over 21 so we don't need him to do any buying just some chilling. on whatever night we don't go up to the springs of hot. oh (seems to be an unusual amount of "OHs" in this episode) (now you find yourself counting. hehe) (phase one of my evil plan is complete) this is a 3 count em 3 day weekend. Friday night Saturday Sunday and we return on Monday evening. please note that this is not a typo. and resume reading and chuckling as normal. thank you this has been a ... something.
well thanks for listening to me ramble on.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH a talking muffin!!!!"

~stay tuned
Cameron