i was just sitting here and decided to post a blog, alot of things happened to me this week, Top of the list me and Cori, decided it would be better to be "Just friends" as much as it pisses me off. i want to be with her. i care about her so much. its like trying to live with just one lung since we broke up. its hard to breathe. she was right for me. she took care of me, truly my better half. and here i sit, Coriannless. should be a medical condition, cuz in my opinion i need medical attention i hurt so bad. i care about her so much that i broke up with her to save her from me. to save her time. so she wouldn't wast it on me. instead of using it for more important things. I believe this is what she wants, even though she doesn't see it now, she will someday. and she'll understand how much this hurts then. i know she's in pain, but i know that pain will not last forever. and someday she'll understand that this was what had to happen. It truly was best for both of us. and i hope we can remain friends. but talking to her is opening a wound and digging around in it. so i hope she'll be patient with me. I'm hurting, but it was a bullet i had to take for the one i care about. (being "my" Cori) She'll find happiness out there. if not I'll still be here, several years from now and I'll still take you. every year, you will always be my Valentine. every time i get drunk, i will always consider myself to be "2 sheets to the wind" . I will always be distracted from whatever I'm doing, just thinking about you. "is she happy?" "does she miss me" "whats she up to" " how many jelly beans did she eat today?" (as many as she wants but as long as at least one of them is banana).
Next big shocker, Juke died. holy shit, a part of all of us got hit with that car along with him. part of me wished i didn't know so i would still think he is safely chasing some mammal.
i posted a comment with my thoughts on this on Nessa's blog so that's where my respects have been laid to rest with him.
Third, my week at the radio station isn't bad, it takes me two hours to get there and two hours to get back so i spend most of my days on a bus now. met some interesting ppl, tryed to quit smoking this week, yep you've guessed it. I FAILED. so ya, try again later i guess.
Fourth of all. (haha) my boss at the radio station gave me a Three on my evaluation score, being average! then again she hasn't met any of the other Job Corps students. so i can kinda see why. but its a Bullshit reason why. check this out! "because i call her Mame and she's not used to it" WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! YOU PHYCO BITCH. ITS JUST HOW I AM, ITS A SIGN OF RESPECT YOU RETARDED FUCK. i worked harder for a lower evaluation score!? i showed respect when i didn't have to. fuck you too bitch. i spent 4 hours on the bus for 3 hours of work. and you gave me a shitty score? when you tell your college's and my Work Base Learning coordinator that you enjoy my hard work ethic? and that you want to adopt me cuz I'm such a good worker? take one big step back and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE
thank you all for reading about me bitch about life.
umm stay tuned or something....... guess i dont really care about much anymore.
Cameron~
You know, your silly. Coriann misses you just as much as you miss her. I'm sure Sam has already given you his opinion on all this..
ReplyDeleteYou two love each other. She doesn't think she's wasting her time on you.
So you should save yourself a lot of pain and just be with her.
Course that's just my opinion.
Did I mention your the most perfect couple since Romeo and Juliet minus the dying?
Yep.