Something Interesting

so i was reading blogs and checking my myspace/myyearbook. when i came across a profile i haven't seen in ... almost no just over 2 yrs. and i lost my breath and almost fell on the ground. who is this mysterious profile you ask? well it doesn't really matter who it is, but the point is i learned something from this person in the time that i knew them. ... and its making me think a couple times over again about Cori. plus the 'Convo' ? is that what kids are calling it now? anyway the Conversation that me and Alyse had yesterday afternoon, followed by the one me and .. Cori had. and what we talked about makes sense in my heart, ... but not my head. my decision makes sense in my head, ... but not in my heart. make sense? and that's why i can say I've been confused like ... something/someone that/who is confused alot.

"I can't find a wall to pin this too,

there all coming down since i found you"

"Let me light up the sky,

light it up for you,

let me tell you why,

I would Die for you,

and it still so hard to be who you are,

but you've come this far,

with a broken heart"

"I would explode just to save your life"

As you can see my dilemma. Cori, I do love you, that wont change over some small length of time. I do want to be with you. I can feel your pain, i feel it too. Shadows and Regrets

i have to do this. i know it doesn't make sense and I've tryed a dozen times to explain it, but that's just not one of my strong suits. I love you and want to be with you until your sick of me then I'll leave, if i was king of the world than i would do it that way. I've only talked to a couple people (being one or two) that understand. and there reaction was ... and i quote "Holy shit, you must really love her." that was one and the other started crying then finally said ... and i quote "It takes a real man to do what you did, do you need a hug?"

i care about her, and that's why I did this. when she looks back at this later on in life i think she'll understand. i find myself cursing god for not letting me able to explain the things i really want to explain. he dumped all this knowledge in my brain and said "don't tell anyone" and it sucks. i try and on the simpler things i can sort-of explain but on this i cant.

A.D.D. !

Stay tuned ... but only if the cool kids are doing it.

~Cameron