In This Corner..

In this Corner weighing in at approximately 145 lbs Cameron Mackey! with a Blog for you

Read this like a Poem. (because it is one)

Come one come all!

read these few lines and have a ball!

Some of you think i don't blog much

But I try and i try to not lose Touch.

I miss you all far and near.

Just don't hit a Deer.

Seems like we get more and more busy every year.

But i tell you my friends, Have no Fear.

"For i have a Dream"


and in this Dream we are a Team.


For when we Combine our "Epic Power"


we become taller than the tallest Tower


and should we party


No, i didn't say Farty


It would be of Epic Proportions


Full of Contortions


Filled with laughter and Fun.


and i mean a Ton.


So what do you say?


Think about it if your Gay


Other wise Come all the way.


To this great escape from your busy lives


Don't worry i don't have Hives


Allow me to bring the Group together


even tho some have plucked a Feather


What a smile that would bring


to see friends in full swing.

i just wrote that whole thing by the seat of my pj's.
hope you enjoyed it. Maybe it will give me more time to come up with a blog.

oh good news, I got my Drivers licenses! and i got Accepted into the college program at SLCC picked all my classes and its all paid for, so I'm good to go.

I have a Dream that you'll stay tuned~
Cameron

Rules... sometimes you hate them...

Ah, my lady's have been posting a shit load of blogs while i was away saving the world. guess what! im back! "you know what really grinds my gears?" that one rule your parents always told you about not eating Candy for breakfast. what the fuck?? that is the dumbest rule out there. why the ---- not?? you just brushed your teeth in the morning, you did before you went to bed, i see it like drinking mountain Dew when you wake up, wakes you up really quickly (unhealthy quickness) and i guess candy has a lot of sugar, so... theoretically that would wake you up somewhat quickly also. ... so whats wrong with waking up really quickly? (more like suddenly)... whats the big deal? i used to do it all the time, as far as drinking mt dew. not the whole candy thing, ... unless it was two weeks before or after Halloween. hang on one sec, it is deadly quiet and i need some music to drown out the sound of me typing.
Young-Hollywood Undead. speaking of that, didn't they get famous in about a week. i heard one song of theirs somewhere, went home my sis was listening to them, i like them as a band, but not enough to go see them in concert tho. My sis (bailey) wanted to go see them, so i asked my parents if i could take her. Because we don't get along all that well, so I've been trying harder to be her friend. but that never ended up happening, cuz it was on the 11th and i was at Job Corps. i could have taken personal leave, but at this point im so busy where i couldn't afford to lose the time.(imagine me as your older brother. that girl has put up with a lot of shit... from me anyway.)not to bash Hollywood Undead by any means if it came across that way then learn how to read. (iroC ssim I) read it backwards.

M&M time.

so on my latest run to the kitchen, i decided to grab a fun size packet of M&M's (cuz there's more than one,that's why its plural, suppose if you only had one left would it just be called an "M")("hey man want an "M"?)(but if you have two they should be called "Partners in crime" or "P-i-C for short") a Glass of Strawberry Koolaid (or as the french pronounce it (KoolAde) and a handful of grapes, (almost step-ed on one of them, that would of sucked)(i would have had stinky socks with a hint of grape) so by the time it took me to type all this, the grapes are long gone, KoolAde is closing the lead that the M&M's have on it. fighting for second place.

Now that you all know about my latest eating habits ... im sure you all feel special/informed/..gifted/annoyed/and most recently (since you started reading this anyway, bored

so there coming out with a Sim's 3 "World Adventures" i just watched the trailer and it looks pretty good, i think i might get it.

FUN FACT: Sim's characters cannot get drunk. (I've tried it never happens)

yay my birthday is in (that's right i age just like the rest of you) a month and 4 days. I'll be 21 we all need to hang out that day. its a wee bit before Christmas, like a week. Alyse don't be calling me every weekend to buy you and your drunk friends another round, well at least not every weekend. lol. it appears my drinking skills are good enough that i can go "pro" or at least "legal"

ok well im out of things to bore you with.

ttfn (Ta Ta For Now-Tigger)

Stay tuned~
Cameron

Blogging Bondage?

as i patiently awaited for the computer to build up i decided to grab a few Cd's being the Ramones, the Killers, Weezer, and of course Johny Cash, i found one of this original hits and just had to grab it.

it sucks cuz i listen to music all day its my Job! (sucks huh?) lol but the down side is most songs are trying to describe this idea, this thought, this word: Love. it seems to me that everyone is trying to describe the same thing but everyone is having a hard time, and now somehow i understand what all of them were going threw when they we're watching there heart get riped out of the chest and stabbed repeatedly with a spoon. some ppl blog out there emotions some ppl write stand up comedies, some ppl write songs and books, others write in a journal, some ppl just tell there friends/ parents to get it off there chest. kind of interesting now that i think of it. so i get to hear everyone describe it in different ways that all make sense to me. ... kind of sucks, i wish this pain would go away. i wish things felt right again.

so did you hear Obama's taxing Aspirin now, you know because its white and it works.


what do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean Dip!

so i start collage here in Jan. and i start my Drivers Ed course in Nov. so i should have it by my birthday.

Feature Presentation: Blogging Bondage?

So after i was reading Alyses blogs for weeks on end. i decided to post my last post hopefully encouraging ppl to post more about they're worlds you know to keep they're friends in the loop, this is the original "group" from "The Apartment" we need to keep in contact and this was the unwritten way to accomplish this. shortly after reading Alyes' latest blog i realized i might just have imprisoned us all! I'm going to be stuck here blogging about how much toilet paper i used and why that much and what i was thinking while taking 2 1/2 rolls on one bath room run. (what of it?) then you guys can comment on it saying " your not using the bathroom at my house again!"
lol watch this quote will follow me for a long time.. awesome...



well have a good day ppl!
Stay Tuned~
Cameron

Its about time

we have this amazing group of friends that was "launched" to far corners of the state and in Cori's case different states, but we need to keep our "secret society" together, everyone should keep posting even the retarded things like... um "going green" but that's how we all stay in contact and keep our friendships going. so thank you Alyse for setting the example to the rest of us. i know I'm slow sometimes, but I'm going to start posting more even if i don't think its blog worthy i wanna let you all in on whats going on in my world. then you can choose if you want to read it or not.
this was a public announcement thank you for reading ... that is all


stay tuned~
Cameron

Something Interesting

so i was reading blogs and checking my myspace/myyearbook. when i came across a profile i haven't seen in ... almost no just over 2 yrs. and i lost my breath and almost fell on the ground. who is this mysterious profile you ask? well it doesn't really matter who it is, but the point is i learned something from this person in the time that i knew them. ... and its making me think a couple times over again about Cori. plus the 'Convo' ? is that what kids are calling it now? anyway the Conversation that me and Alyse had yesterday afternoon, followed by the one me and .. Cori had. and what we talked about makes sense in my heart, ... but not my head. my decision makes sense in my head, ... but not in my heart. make sense? and that's why i can say I've been confused like ... something/someone that/who is confused alot.

"I can't find a wall to pin this too,

there all coming down since i found you"

"Let me light up the sky,

light it up for you,

let me tell you why,

I would Die for you,

and it still so hard to be who you are,

but you've come this far,

with a broken heart"

"I would explode just to save your life"

As you can see my dilemma. Cori, I do love you, that wont change over some small length of time. I do want to be with you. I can feel your pain, i feel it too. Shadows and Regrets

i have to do this. i know it doesn't make sense and I've tryed a dozen times to explain it, but that's just not one of my strong suits. I love you and want to be with you until your sick of me then I'll leave, if i was king of the world than i would do it that way. I've only talked to a couple people (being one or two) that understand. and there reaction was ... and i quote "Holy shit, you must really love her." that was one and the other started crying then finally said ... and i quote "It takes a real man to do what you did, do you need a hug?"

i care about her, and that's why I did this. when she looks back at this later on in life i think she'll understand. i find myself cursing god for not letting me able to explain the things i really want to explain. he dumped all this knowledge in my brain and said "don't tell anyone" and it sucks. i try and on the simpler things i can sort-of explain but on this i cant.

A.D.D. !

Stay tuned ... but only if the cool kids are doing it.

~Cameron

THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL!!!!!!!!!

OK so today started out like any other, and the last 2 weeks and yesterday including 3 weeks from now I'll be working at the Radio Station. its KRCL 90.9 FM and for the last few weeks they've had be do basic filing and other "bitch work" but today about 5 Min's ago they decided that i was TOO efficient and ran out of things for me to do. (and my boss got laid off on Friday) so they ran out of shit for me to do for them, and so the programing Director said to me "well, shit. why don't you just go into one of the studios and play some music and surf the web!" when i replied i didn't have any Cd's on me he said "just go into our library and pick out whatever you'd like" for those of you who haven't seen 3 dj's and a radio station's collective CD collection, ummm ITS MASSIVE!! like 12 Allies of just Cd's every type of music, so i quickly ran/walked really quickly to hide my crazed excitement, and picked out 3 MegaDeath Albums and some Johny Cash, then i found the ZZ Top, every Weezer Album, oh oh and then the Yellow Card, but it got really bad when i saw they're ColdPlay collection. before i knew it i was grabbing hot titles left and right, like a really fat kid, like really really fat kid in the Free Candy aisle. i ended up walking out of there with close to 15 Cd's including one called "1990's Cookies" that i just had to check out. ya ... it was bad, so now i can hardly control running around in this sound proof room screaming while BLASTING ColdPlay and Johny Cash. oh wait.... (I am). He showed me how all the controls work so now I'm adjusting music and pitches like a pro. hmmm but now something called the "rude solo light" is flashing at me.... i just don't know what it does. like right now, "my Name is Jonas" is at a rockstar level of loud. theres little knobs for everything, EVEN the lights! and the mic's it has a twin cassette tape player, and right next to it, there is a twin Cd player, along with really really .. really fast Internet. and i have another 2 hours to enjoy it!

In other news the Dorm decided that i would make a good president, (odd i know) Cameron Mackey for President ... Mkay
but all these good things (i think) are really just distracting me from ... My Coriann, it hurts so much to talk to her about weather and her day. then when we eventually get into ... a more serious conversation. it really hurts: We're talking agonizing pain here. it hurts so bad where it should be inhumane if you did it to an animal. you want to but the animal (or whatever) out of its misery its the kind thing to do. but as people we don't have that option. it hurts because i know it was the right thing to do. it hurts more when she doesn't understand why. it hurts even more when i have to re-live it and try to explain it. like being hit with a Semi, but surviving out in the middle of nowhere. with no hospitals or people around to help you. that kind of agonizing pain.
people always seem to come to me with they're life crisis' and i seem to somehow solve them no problem. but when it comes to me. it just seems to not work. i cant find the " easy button" its not fair! ok so maybe it is. but still.

on center we are on the brink of war, (being the whole center!) "officially" i have no part in it. but simple shit that i used to take joy in i just cant find anymore, shot a bunch of my classmates in Call of Duty 4, (they suck) 22 kills, 4 deaths. a +18 k/d spread for those gamers out there. there was two fights in my dorm this week. one was between two Mexicans fighting over Mexican pride... and one calling the other a "wet back" now to me that means hard worker. but somehow its offensive to them. (who knew?) and the other fight was between my roommate (Jerry) who is 5'8 weighs 210 libs and can bench 425 libs translation: big mother fucker, really nice tho. anyway he is the Head Supply Officer in our Dorm and he got into a fight with a higher officer in our dorm. now me being the VP (soon to be P) felt some obligation to break up these two fights. but i didn't, i had a feeling they would work themselves out on there own. and i was right. as horrible as it is to say these students have been in a fight or two before.. trust me. sorry about that i had to step away from the keyboard for a sec to swap out and put in Johny Cash on the top player while i listen to Undone-Weezer on the bottom player, damn this thing is so cool,

oh so yesterday they let me program this program called the Gselector basically its a giant ipod, it was currently holding 17,459 songs on the system and that doesn't count the hard copy's. and i got to choose all the music that was played on the air. didn't' happen today but it was still cool, tedious but really cool. time for some Yellowcard: Paper Walls. wanna hear a secret? OK OK OK so do you wanna hear 2 secrets?
one: i miss my Cori.... allot
Two: i played some KingSpades in the studio! the answer to your question is yes, it WAS awesome.
Thank you for reading, and sharing this moment with me, i was just really excited.
stay tuned no matter when no matter where you'll never know where the next episode will post ... itself.
~Cameron
...















what are you guys still doing reading???? the blog is over. its up there somewhere watch scroll up a little bit and you'll find it. it has it all laughter, sorrow, electronics, language, nudity.....

















oh wait, no it doesn't i almost looked tho.
but seriously, I'm done typing now, I'm done telling the world how much i want to find a way for me to be with Cori, or possibly nope that's it, it was the main point of the blog anyway.





yep....



































oh ya he did this in that one blog of his...


























OK it's done. The beating of the dead horse has come to a conclusion.
goodbye all!

and stay tuned
~Cameron

Only if your really Cool

Check your comments

This just in

I miss my Coriann

someone gave me a suttle hint to post a blog.. so here i am

i was just sitting here and decided to post a blog, alot of things happened to me this week, Top of the list me and Cori, decided it would be better to be "Just friends" as much as it pisses me off. i want to be with her. i care about her so much. its like trying to live with just one lung since we broke up. its hard to breathe. she was right for me. she took care of me, truly my better half. and here i sit, Coriannless. should be a medical condition, cuz in my opinion i need medical attention i hurt so bad. i care about her so much that i broke up with her to save her from me. to save her time. so she wouldn't wast it on me. instead of using it for more important things. I believe this is what she wants, even though she doesn't see it now, she will someday. and she'll understand how much this hurts then. i know she's in pain, but i know that pain will not last forever. and someday she'll understand that this was what had to happen. It truly was best for both of us. and i hope we can remain friends. but talking to her is opening a wound and digging around in it. so i hope she'll be patient with me. I'm hurting, but it was a bullet i had to take for the one i care about. (being "my" Cori) She'll find happiness out there. if not I'll still be here, several years from now and I'll still take you. every year, you will always be my Valentine. every time i get drunk, i will always consider myself to be "2 sheets to the wind" . I will always be distracted from whatever I'm doing, just thinking about you. "is she happy?" "does she miss me" "whats she up to" " how many jelly beans did she eat today?" (as many as she wants but as long as at least one of them is banana).

Next big shocker, Juke died. holy shit, a part of all of us got hit with that car along with him. part of me wished i didn't know so i would still think he is safely chasing some mammal.
i posted a comment with my thoughts on this on Nessa's blog so that's where my respects have been laid to rest with him.

Third, my week at the radio station isn't bad, it takes me two hours to get there and two hours to get back so i spend most of my days on a bus now. met some interesting ppl, tryed to quit smoking this week, yep you've guessed it. I FAILED. so ya, try again later i guess.

Fourth of all. (haha) my boss at the radio station gave me a Three on my evaluation score, being average! then again she hasn't met any of the other Job Corps students. so i can kinda see why. but its a Bullshit reason why. check this out! "because i call her Mame and she's not used to it" WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! YOU PHYCO BITCH. ITS JUST HOW I AM, ITS A SIGN OF RESPECT YOU RETARDED FUCK. i worked harder for a lower evaluation score!? i showed respect when i didn't have to. fuck you too bitch. i spent 4 hours on the bus for 3 hours of work. and you gave me a shitty score? when you tell your college's and my Work Base Learning coordinator that you enjoy my hard work ethic? and that you want to adopt me cuz I'm such a good worker? take one big step back and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE


thank you all for reading about me bitch about life.
umm stay tuned or something....... guess i dont really care about much anymore.


Cameron~

Long time No Blog!?!?!?

So here i sit at this ... excuse for a computer. Pretty sure they found all of our computers in a dumpster. Government quality for sure. read a few of the newly posted blogs. wasted my time watching Fired Up. this critics review is " Don't Watch it, for the love of God Don't watch it" so i walked out, smoked a cig and played some hacky sac. got bored so here i am. almost mastered a few more tricks. Oh i stayed after in class today and made it to 60% complete so potentially i could be done with the program in October. but i want to stay for the free collage thing. more work but I'll be glad i did. i should be 75% complete by Friday. i just feel so .. distracted this week. time seems to slip threw my fingers like sand. i say hi to someone look at my watch and 2 hours have gone by. played some Call of duty 4 yesterday and the day before it was weired not having a controller in my hand, and trying to do the something with a keyboard. but the second time around i got the hang of it again. started getting my 12 kills to every 2 deaths. because the skills are there i just don't seem to know all the controls for the keyboard. I'm starting a tradition, every night i have to watch futurama before i go to bed. it seems to help. cant wait till this weekend. all i have been thinking about is how nice those hot springs are going to be. i think i accidentally told DJ about it so that's why he wanted to go. this time he's bringing his GF so at least who ever babysits 'The Drunken Few' will have some company. i seem to be running out of cigarettes so quickly now. i smoke almost 3 a day and every time i look in my pack I'm missing more than I'm smoking. cig's are like a religion here. you can barley even whisper "I'm going to go smoke a smokety-smoke" without 12 ppl trying to share just one. so i say No allot. that's the other thing is some crazy idea got around that is causing ppl to think that they can Hacky Sack! me and DJ seem to be the only ones with any talent at the sport. (yes its a sport. it has rules) I'm just so busy all the time. i do all i have to as quickly as i can along with the best i can. and somehow i seem to be going to bed late. its like some sort of weird time continuum. maybe its less that i want to go to the hot springs and more that i want to get away from ... PPL!!!
its like a self-sustaining community of moochers. and chimmy smokers. and Whores. (yes i said it. however mean it still remains true) and liers and thieves and kids. truly a different planet. but this is our society. this is our generation. the older generations have taken our jobs. and now we sit at job corps. the baby boomers have taken all the Governments money. we truly will be taking taxes up the ass until our kids our married and can take over. oh ya that's IF North Korea doesn't nuke the shit out of the planet. ... Oh and That's if The world doesn't end with the Mayan calender. if you catch yourself saying "Fuck" its involuntary just accept it. but just think of how strong mankind will be when we overcome these high hurtles. so if your reading this get ahold of someone who knows Kevin a.k.a. "Bacon" tell him i want to do some drinking this weekend and i would like to hang out with him also. tell him DJ is over 21 so we don't need him to do any buying just some chilling. on whatever night we don't go up to the springs of hot. oh (seems to be an unusual amount of "OHs" in this episode) (now you find yourself counting. hehe) (phase one of my evil plan is complete) this is a 3 count em 3 day weekend. Friday night Saturday Sunday and we return on Monday evening. please note that this is not a typo. and resume reading and chuckling as normal. thank you this has been a ... something.
well thanks for listening to me ramble on.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH a talking muffin!!!!"

~stay tuned
Cameron

thought it was time to post something new

so here we are, hanging out on the SHITTYIST computer i have ever seen in my 20 short yrs on earth, keyboard is worthless, monotor is worthless, chair wont go higher than a foot off the ground, ppl getting terminated from the program friends coming and going. lots of lies. not about JC; just the ppl here, most cant pass an 8th grade reading and math level. (thats the standard test here) i had to go exchange a pair of pants today, so.. 6 pairs later when there out of the right size and the next size they do have is a 38x40 or a 28x30 so do i not want to breath or do i want to have to wear suspenders?? hmmmmmmmmmm!?!?! so when i descripe worthless, it is only because it is the only possible way to describe this. its a federal thing so the employees dont care, the students dont care. i do, some do. but most dont. so my computer crashed at 10:30 today so i got to sit on my hands till 3. that was fun. this weekend should be fun. i dont know what were going to do. computers gone, xbox is gone. DVD player only works on the occasional movie. DJ and Mike are coming with me. guess we'll just drink some beer or something. my pool skills are gone and my Haky Sac skills are gone. friends are suggesting im stressed out. maybe i am. tryed drinking last weekend didn't seem to help. just dont know how to get rid of my stress i guess. its new for me. i get to see coriann this weekend. it'd be cool if sam and nessa could be there too. or kevin, maybe ayles will be there. well- guess im going to get off the computer now. bye

Trust?

So its 2:34am and some how by some crazy cosmic universe, i decided it was time for a blog? this .. Morning i wanted to talk on the topic trust. trust is a two sided blade, on the one it can completely calm your worries. and on the other, it can cut you just as deep. a buddy of mine when i was in to the darker side of things, (btw my spade was done on his couch by a guy who was smoking us up at the same time.) just to give you an idea of our level of friendship. turns out he.. well it doesn't much matter but he violated my trust. I am always cautious where i place my trust and so as you can imagine when i found this out the other night it had me thinking (i need a smoke) quite a bit.

see i got to talk to an old friend of mine, so he was giving me updates on all the important topics. turns out Ryan a.k.a. "Napoleon" is no other than HERE in Utah. this is of course just a theory. many more details regarding this just talk to me in person about it.

so me and Coriann had a pretty Kick ass week, wanna hear about it?

so on Thursday evening we got to ride her 4 wheeler around for a little bit and go to a Mexican restaurant to meet her best friend of several years.
on Friday we went to the lake i got to ride/drive the Jet Ski! cook some hot dogs on an open fire and meet some of her family.
on Saturday *the 4Th* we drove up to Idaho to go to a Killer Firework show. and a fair type thing. eat some junk food and spend some time together.
on Sunday we went for a walk up in strawberry (National Park) really beautiful up there. Passed 3 girls on a 4 wheeler with 0 helmets. we kept thinking we were going to go around the next bend just to find there bodies on fire or something.
on Monday we went up to Jackson Hole (major city) and took "old time photos" that im bringing back im sure you'll like them. we got 4 llbs of Jelly Beans! (Thats a shit load of beans) thats right were officialy part Mexican now. we rented some movies and watched them: Mirrors and Defiance. Mirrors was a fairly good horror section representative, and Defiance was with that new 007 guy, he was actually Jewish in this one! so i of course liked it right off the bat, haha. it was an .. how would hollywood say it? "Action Packed Thrill Ride" wait isn't that what the back of the last porno i watched said? who knew?
on Tues we are heading back today so we should see you, the reasoning for heading back early is we didn't want to drive 4 hours on our Anniversary. Power up the Halo lol.

that's right Wends. is our 3 month! amazing how time flys huh?

well guys i cant wait to hear about your week.
what do you do when you find a black man in your back yard bleeding?
-stop laughing and reload.
Stay tuned~
Cameron.

It is time..For a new blog!

So here i sit at the computer. without my Cori. the world just seems so much more entertaining to me and it makes it so much better when someone (Cori) is here to share it with. i miss her terribly. wish i had the means in witch to see her. but i don't. if i did I'd be up there every weekend. things feel so different when she's not around, quieter, less laughs, less smiles, dimmer. Then when i do talk to her its almost like i can breath, things seem closer to normal. i can relax more. not to mention i can sleep easier. the nice thing about time is no matter what your doing, or no matter how fast or slow time is going; its always moving. it never stops. so i miss her but i know I'll see her soon, and nothing can change that.

Job Corps is going good, I'm getting things done faster than most ppl. (what did you expect?) and I'm almost the Vice President of my Dorm. cool huh? well its not to say "I'm so amazing" it just to describe everyone else. ... ya its like that. i like the weekends, of course i get to see all of you but also for the little things that i miss all week: good music, taking a break from everyone on center, being able to relax, sleeping in, Meshka's jogging schedule, Jorden's hair when he wakes up, the sleeping bag just makes me feel closer to home.

and in the slight chance Thor reads this:

do you know what army stands for?

Are you Ready to be a Marine Yet?

if you were thinking about the Air Force thought I'd give you there acronym

Airborne Insignificant Fucks Fighting with Onboard Redneck's with a Chance they'll Engage something.

and navy...

Never Again Volunteer Yourself

In all fairness i should say something about the Marines but i don't think i will, life isn't fair get over it.

I miss my Coriann

Really i do..

did i mention that i miss my Girlfriend?

i had a blast last weekend with my Cori, man do i miss her

Where's Coriann at? wish i could see her, i really miss her

hey that's a really cool hacky sac where did you get it? oh my amazing gf got it for me, wow i really miss her.

Can i meet her?

No

i miss you Cori and i cant wait to see you.

stay tuned~

Cameron

White Waters

well Friday i graduated from career prep, strange to think that I'm just now prepared for a career. i start this blog tonight in much troubled thoughts, of course first things first, i miss Cori, seems like everything and everywhere remind me of some memory of her. I keep telling her that it wont be long now, I'm not sure if I'm telling her to re-assure her or me. no matter how long, I'll wait for her. i know whats out there and i know she's a 1000x's better than anything I've ever seen. she told me it was time for another one of Cameron's blog's. i miss you beautiful. Even sitting here at the computer i miss you. i miss you while i sleep, while i eat, while i work, talking to you on the phone makes me feel closer only to have to hang up eventually. other things on my mind include, but are not limited to the following: fajkl

i intended to catch all of you off guard and write about something serious the entire time, but turns out I'm just empty..... that's the only way i can think to descibe it, i miss my Cori.

"if only the Indians had discovered that thousands of yrs ago!"
stay tuned...
Cameron

My Fellow Americans

what does it take for software to change? an online update? new software? what does it take for a day to change? 24 hours? what does it take for a season to change? several hours? a few months time? what does it take for a person to change? the only thing that can truly change a person is a life changing event, kid being born, near death experience, an extremely hard time in ones life. or... the strict decision to change; i was eating dinner with my Grandpa one night and he decided he wasn't going to eat butter anymore, so he set down the butter and hasn't touched it again, that was 5 yrs ago. i need to make a strict decision to change when it comes to smoking cigarettes. this is a very simple game, find something in your life you don't like and change it, go find true happiness wherever it hides. don't be influenced my the Majority OR the minority's make a choice for yourself, have reasons for your choice. just in case i confuzzed your muzzle back there I'll give you an example: you want to go rob a bank. your reasoning is that you planed on how to do it, your prepared to accept the good and bad consequences of this act. and the risks involved.



well kids this is it, I'm off on another adventure, don't worry i packed a lunch. my travels only take me up the road a wee bit, but I'll be back and don't worry I'll bring my smile. and I'll have time off to "kick it" with you all, if i was a boat I'd be called "The Weekender" or possibly "Recess" you know its funny...ish in this time of sadness me leaving my friends i cant seem to come up with anything funny to say, understandable i know, but how lame is that? another plan could be i just start a payment plan with all of you in the event that you all promise to laugh during my ferice mono-logging that's another thing; Smart Water? that's like an oxymoron, water doesn't have a brain or move on its own free will, its like Jumbo Shrimp, sushi chef, kung fu panda, pandas are lazy as shit, that's why they don't hurt anyone. walking fish, gentle man, smoke-free tobacco, Myth-Busters, that's why there a myth! gas prices! i don't know why they just are... just go with it, its the ""cool"" thing to do.



This is a blog I've been meaning to write for a while now, most of you were probably waiting for my next installment of Cam's weekly show, you tuned in I'm sure to fine no new episode, but I'll tell you what, i am pretty sure they have computers with Internet access there so if i get online with enough time I'll keep you posted on the where abouts of the one ring that would rule them all to find them and bind them. (that was a reference to the Lord of the Rings for all you non-nerd folk) unfortunately lightning does strike twice in the same spot, as Chuck's season finale has come and gone, and Chuck viewers everywhere are forced to wait till the 3rd season. damn that's depressing so check this out...



Cori...

i know even as you are reading this you are also missing me, but don't cry or worry, i am missing you as well. i believe the plans for that road trip are already being planed. so i look forward to you showing all of us your town of origin here very soon. and Smile, for I'll be counting the day's also.



Jorden...

guess you'll be smoking alone here soon. witch in my opinion is better, its my preference, lets me get organized up here. as opposed to me, who will be smoking with a bunch of kids who are most likely ...still talking about high school. i get to be annoyed every time i go for a smoke, trust me silence is better, but i like the company also, and look forward to smoking again with you here soon. and remember: "what? you cant stand a little discomfort?"



Sam....

get a blog so we don't have to keep saying, "well i know you'll never read this but.." your a good and trusted friend, one of the few I go to for council, stay strong and use the force when necessary and when in doubt just remember wwcnd? What Would Chuck Norris Do?



Dee...

i will always keep our cookie secrets, if you find outrageous amounts of drama happening at Target and you find yourself in need of a smile, go read some of the quotes, that's why i started writing them down. for this moment when i knew it would be time to leave you all.



Nessa...

i haven't known you long but some how you still laugh at basically anything that comes out of my mouth, this is always fun for me because i don't have to put much effort into making you smile and laugh. when in doubt look at the soda machine at your place of employment keep looking at it until you remember to just bust out laughing, and if that doesn't work, just remember the madin voyage of our apt's ice cube tray's and that should do the trick.



Alyse...

i think i spelled it right, if not you can yell at me when you see me. last but i would never say least. you and me have the same ...i like to call it a gift. you can call it what you will. we share this gift with every president and artist and musician in the world. its called "open eyes" it means we have an elevated alertness to detail, it allows us to read ppl very well, knowing instantly whats got them down. keep this gift. and remember what i told you about school: work hard for a few yrs so you don't have to work hard for the rest of your life. build good study habits now, you'll need them in high school, and you have to perfect it for collage, my study skills are about to be tested.

"i still laugh when the Katsup farts"

"Where are the microwave directions?"-Sam

thought i'd throw in two because of my lack of blogs.

as always,

Stay Tuned~

Cameron

GOOOOOOOD MORNING SALT LAKE! its 0600 what does the "0" stand for? Oh my god its early!





our first caller this morning comes all the way from Bountiful, Utah, caller your on-

"thank you Cameron, just wanted to say I'm a huge fan of your show, long time reader first time caller"

thank you, thank you, whats on you mind?

"well I'm kind of suicidal, I've been cutting for a long time, well ok let me rephrase that- I've been cutting my cat for a long time. i guess he's the crazy one"

lucky for you, there's a really simple solution to this whole thing: Stop cutting you cat, rumor has it, they don't like that, but hey, i wouldn't know, i don't speak cat, ask a Dog.

This next caller comes from Provo, Utah caller your live-

"ummm, hey I'm not really sure how to say this, I've never been on a ...show before, and its kind of a personal issue,"

Don't worry about that, no one really listens to this show anyway,

"if you say so... i guess the only way to solve this is to come out and say it. I am a Sex Addict"

your a sex addict and your from Provo?

"yes, don't bother, I've heard all the jokes"

how many people know about this, if you've heard all the jokes?

"well at first i was trying to keep... Fuck this! are you going to help me or what?"

i cant just tell you to stop having sex, its how your body deals with its natural desires, it ties the bond between two people and in some religions considered very sacred

"So how would you suggest i continue?"

be careful who your sexual partners are, and be sure to always protect yourself

"much thanks, I'll be sure to write back if anything else comes up"

your welcome, glad i could help. Next caller

"...beep"

..and on that note i think I'm going to pass the ball off to Dan "the Man" Levitain A.K.A Mr. Exciting!

-Thank you Cameron. Someone raised the question: Can Bees Think?

a recent study shows that No they cannot...

wahhooo! second.

so i figured out something, i really hate... (i know what your thinking, and this is NOT another segment on stupid ppl) people who come to me for advice and don't listen to the advice i have given them, there wasting my time and there's. if there not going to bother attempting to apply what i have told them, (i know in some cases they have discovered a better route in witch case its fine) i mean what the fuck? i tell some people to do A,B, and C, and they act completely oblivious to what i told them, and a few weeks (if not sooner) they find themselves in the exact same situation when they come back to me for advice, i wanna shot "i told you so" but I'm just too nice for that, so of course I'll help them again..and again, and usually again. and maybe hate is too strong of a word for it, but its one of those things that i know will eat at me for awhile. when i offer my ears to aid the life of another human being and there coming to me in hopes that I'll help them, i consider the situation and come up with (in my opinion) the very best advice, i tell them how it is, and explain why its this way, yet later they seem to be completely oblivious to all the facts. i could have been doing something else with my time, i dint wake up every morning to serve, i wake up cuz i have shit to do, but if i can spare some time for a friend, of course I'll help them, over and over again. i guess its just frustrating, watching a good friend suffer. not to say i am always right about everything. but they did come to me for advice right? they sought my council, so i gave it to them. i don't know, sounds just like i am bitching about something, but this is well thought out and its a valid complaint.

"Which one do you want? The one infested with chocolate or the other one?"-Dee

Stay Tuned~

Cameron

Wanna read about me ramble on?

ok kids, what should this weeks episode be about? after alot of thought, its going to be about pink post-its, there impact on the world, and where there going to be in 5 yrs. had you going?
me nether.


seems to me that no mater how simple the world gets or predictable for that matter, it still seems to surprise me at times. no matter how predictable Sam is at poker every now and then he shows up with 4 of a kind. no matter how many times you tell your self your going to do something, you always end up doing something else. no matter how many times you throw wood chips at Jorden he always seems to throw some back. no matter how many times you take a piss, you aways have to go again. no matter how many times your roommate comes running out of his room in his boxers screaming "wheres the fucking Cheese-its?" you'll still buy some more. No matter how many run on sentences i come up with you'll still keep reading. Is there a point to this madness? Nope

why is it when i do finally try to open up, i end up closing up again? i guess i don't like feeling vulnerable, and so i cover it up with humor over and over again? sound pathetic yet? it should, and it does.

Oh, i saw this weeks Chuck episode, it...was... Awesome!

i ate a good dinner (pizza) i had good times, (with Cori, Jorden, and Nessa and a small children's park) its late and i have good tunes playing, (Family Force 5), my face hurts from blowing up balloon's, (i finally got the knot tie in down, plenty of practice) I'm trying to shit blogs but its not working out. we'll give it a try together!

oh Shit!

on a side not i just saw Jorden 'the custodian" casually sweeping balloons down the hallway humming that 70's shows' theme song.

ok forgive me, i haven been in a relationship for almost 10 months and I'm still trying to get the "boyfriend thing down, give me some time, I'll get used to it. its interesting, learning to be self-reliant for so long and now having to learn to be dependent.

Squirrel!

oh, we have a web cam now, so we can broadcast out outrageous retardation's live across the web! well, when it works we'll be able to.

so I've been seriously deliberating deleting my myyearbook account, i just seem to waste time on there, not to mention the number of ... disturbing ppl i meet on there, i think there called online friends for a reason.

sorry i didn't deliver on this one, I'll try harder next week.
Stay tuned~
Cameron

If James Bond Was a Pizza Driver...

we interrupt you week to bring you a special broadcast. so bring you an especially entertaining conversation i recently had. Enjoy


Cameron says:
monkey
*A l l e r i a* says:
monkeys and pancakes.
Cameron says:
and strawberry's
*A l l e r i a* says:
strawberry buildings.
Cameron says:
and mt dew
*A l l e r i a* says:
and corn dogs.
Cameron says:
and katsup
*A l l e r i a* says:
and five buck pizza.
Cameron says:
with extra pepperoni
*A l l e r i a* says:
and cheese in the crust.
Cameron says:
in a box
.. a 5 buck box
James box
*A l l e r i a* says:
in a...cardboard five buck box.
with fancy writing on the front.
Cameron says:
in a James bond 5 buck box
*A l l e r i a* says:
Ohh...in an aston martin delivery car.
Cameron says:
with cool tires
*A l l e r i a* says:
and a sexy license plate
Cameron says:
with missiles behind the headlights
*A l l e r i a* says:
and time bombs that come out of the exhaust pipe
Cameron says:
along with the exhaust!
*A l l e r i a* says:
Ohh yes, to prevent explosions and such...
The windshield is really a computer screen, a touch screen.
Cameron says:
and voice activated
*A l l e r i a* says:
and randomly...bluetooth.
Cameron says:
plus its an automatic
*A l l e r i a* says:
With the option of being manual
Cameron says:
with ejectable seats!
*A l l e r i a* says:
heated, ejectable seats!
Cameron says:
most ppl say "you got 30 mins" he only needs 29
*A l l e r i a* says:
He only needs 29, but he will be there in 28
Cameron says:
props.
with MD shaken not stirred
*A l l e r i a* says:
nonono, it's subjective, because James doesn't give a damn.
Cameron says:
005 is now confused
*A l l e r i a* says:
in the movie..."Shaken or stirred?" "Does it look like I give a damn?!"
Cameron says:
ya but what do you expect? it was his first time being bond
*A l l e r i a* says:
So you think he decides shaken is the best?
Cameron says:
shaken mixes the drink better, that's why its bonds choice, but it takes longer and usually the bar keep doesn't want to
unless the customer orders it
*A l l e r i a* says:
And then, since it's the extra thing it has to be Bond's first choice.
Cameron says:
however bond showed up in no more than 27 mins with and extra cold beverage, AND didn't ask for a tip!
*A l l e r i a* says:
This is true. And then he proceeds to get laid by the person he was delivering to, because he was so irresistible.
Cameron says:
even if it was a guy
*A l l e r i a* says:
...if it was a guy, then he fucks the guys sister who happened to be chilling with him.
Cameron says:
well i just didn't say the last part
*A l l e r i a* says:
Wait, bond is a girl?
Cameron says:
caution:your experiencing a blonde moment
*A l l e r i a* says:
Riiiiight...nevermind. I get it...

hope you enjoyed it, it was the very essence of randomness, arguably the source of all randomness.

stay tuned because you never know when an episode will strike~
Cameron

M.O.A.B.L.

it seems these days that people want to make a "bitch list" me having to think somethings are a competition have now created the Mother Of All Bitch Lists. enjoy!


The Zit on the Ass of Society

• people who complain about smokers (yes i knew also that it was going to be first on my list)
• people who cant drive
• stupid people in general
• how MT DEW wakes you up then you can seem to fall asleep...ever
• people who drink the Last Mt Dew.
• people who... well just most people
• the weather ... it never seems to piss me off, why is this?
• how someone can label a hamburger the "Spit Burger" and it Actually sells how is this fair to ... anyone
• why are pj's always the most touchy-feely?
• girls that think guys have all the problems
• Utah Clubs, enough said
• that you cant remember your dreams ..most of the time
• people that smile constantly
• Fake people
• Things that break too often
• Gravity
• how little mankind has gone in so many yrs
• people in Jail
• pens that run out of ink
• scratched Cd's
• Doing Laundry
• Predictable Movies
• the average persons thinking process
• Drunk people (when sober)
• Cocky people
• Bus Drivers (in most cases)
• English Teachers
• Gayla
• People who pretend to hear what your telling them
• Mishka's jogging schedule
• Mikael Jackson (that's right i said it)
• Power-Outs, no warning wtf?
• Every single Police Officer
• Places that charge you to play on there Pool Table, (you'll put everything back when your done)
• the people who waste there time Stalking others
• This particular Bullet
• how you have to pay someone to "plug-in your Internet"
• when good memories end
• having to learn life lessons
• stereo-types
• Judgemental People (especially in Utah)
• Bully's
• Sluts
• getting dirty enough to need a "moist towelette"

we interrupt this massive list to inform you that- "HOLY SHIT ITS SNOWING AGAIN!"

• Songs that say the word *&^%$% too much

stay tuned-

Cameron

Story Time!

i have to admit, at first i was un sure what to blog about tonight, then i finally figured it out, and then i spent sometime writing about my blog for tonight... then i decided i didn't want to write about that, so now I'm faced with the question of "what the FUCK do i blog about this time?" what aspect of my life could i possibly share with unknown readers with nothing better to do? i could complain about my life, (that might be fun) i could talk about this girl, (not too good at that)



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that's french for (unknown word)



why does it seem like everyone is motivated by the wrong reasons?



i have been to every shit hole known to man, I've been physically and mentally in prisoned, I've met ppl from all walks of life, from the wise to the... not so wise, wanna hear some stories from my travels?



i met a guy in prison who had 350 felonies! when i asked him if it was worth it all he could tell me was "hell NO, i only made $300,000.00 last yr alone." now he's doing 97 yrs! he will die in prison, and he knows it, he is 3 months older than i am and he will never see the sun rise again, or take a shower by himself, or have another Mt Dew, or have sex again, or smoke anything anymore, all that's left for him is being called "Grandpa" in the house library. treat your lives well my friends.



a close friend of mine just got back into ... distribution of marijuana, cocaine, and Ecstasy, he had $10 bucks in his pocket to put towards his um business, now he back on top, with everything he loves, making his choices. some times i think about going back to that lifestyle, it would be really really easy for me to, and it would be really fun. BUT i am not going to, because i know what that life leads to, (more stoner tats, possibly getting involved with a skanky girl, and jail) and i have absolutely no interest in going back down that road, unfortunately the honest dollar takes twice the work, and i know i can make money the "normal" way. and i believe i can do it and be happier, we'll see.



sometimes i have to remind myself how civilians solve problems, sometimes i think "just go kill the fucker" then i have to stop and think, wait, what would a civilian do? so i go and talk about my feelings and how so and so stepped on my toe and i would like to kindly remind him to move his foot. how lame is that? oh well,





ultimately your family and some of your friends want you to succeed, so they may be ... frustrating sometimes, but you and them have the same goals for you, (in most cases) most the time they don't care what you end up doing for a living, they care about your happiness. My dad is still a new parent even tho he's had several kids, it happens when your the oldest boy in your family, he's a good dad to my younger sibling but i can see that he's still somewhat unsure about his kids when they're mine and my older sisters age, (early twenty's) and i don't blame him for these short comings, i can see his level of effort and i know I'll have a family of my own someday soon, and I'll have to explain my choices to my kids, and they'll come to me (hopefully) seeking council, i want to merry a woman how can advise my daughters in the right direction. keep that in mind when making big choices.



they're allot of life experiences out there, some i personally have experienced, some i hope to, some i may never. live the life you want ppl to remember you for, make choices and live with the consequences whether they be good ones or bad. maintain the friendships that mean the most to you. my dad talks to one person he went to collage with and no one he went to high school with. i still keep in touch with my brothers in the Corps, and my stoner friends, along with of course my high school friends.





Think about our dependence on technology, imagine going just one week without your cell phones, try just setting it down for a day. some of you are thinking "lol ya right!" i know the feeling I've had 4 cell phones all that I've paid for myself, my parents never got me one. but pull your cell phone out of your pocket and just look at it; you have some memories with it, maybe some scratches here and there from that one time you dropped it at lunch trying to eat that chilly cheese dog and text Jenny, Zack, Lil Jon, and your friend from pizza hut at the same time. or maybe some of those numbers inside that Sim card or phone memory of former carriers of your heart ..shortly before they said something and you deleted every pic and number of theirs, lol, you still remember the day you first got that phone and i bet it hasn't left your hand or at least not gone too far from your present location since then, its an extension to your arm, your sixth finger... that you must re-charge periodically. or the computer that you must constantly check your myspace, and write blogs, you feel that something MIGHT just happen with out your knowledge.. better check anyway. that keyboard right in front of you is just some plastic and some wires. technology is really great at making our lives easier, less thinking involved, your phone has a calculator so you don't have to do math in your head, a calender so you can take your plans with you and Suzy doesn't think you forgot her b-day... again. but don't feel to bad, mankind has always gone for quick and easy, i e: The Microwave over the Oven, the Post-it over the Notebook, i could keep going but i think you get the idea..



you know Boy Scouts that get there Eagle Badge is down to 3%! so 97% of Boy Scouts wont get there Eagle. so when you meet one keep that in mind. i normally don't meet then very often, guess what?!?!? Jorden is one, i never made it, like most the population, oh that's right some of you don't know i was a Boy Scout? lol, it was a long time ago.

i hope this was a unique change to my usual rambling, and i hope you all enjoyed it, (now get of the computer go eat something and use your legs to get to your food, (that's how God intended it to be))

as always stay tuned-
Cameron

Enough is Enough....is Enough

Alright guys, im done. this ...Epic war on nicotine has cost me too much, i dont want to smoke any more, im just going to end it right now, i dont tink i was ready to quit a few weeks ago, but now i am. i am angry at the cig and i dont want anything to do with it anymore. to my friends: thanks for all your help, and i appolagize for my behavior, it is unacceptable. and it will change. i am better than this. they say the addiction to nicotine makes the addition to heroin look like candy. this is why its been difficult for me to quit, its a mental addition as well as a physical one. but i am stronger than i let on to belive, i am strong enough to quit; so i am quiting. this is the last i'll speak of it.

My Zodiac

i thought you guys might be interested in my Zodiac,


Sagittarius

Your element: Fire

Your ruling planets: Jupiter

Symbol: The Archer

Your stone: Turquoise

Life Pursuit: To live the good life

Vibration: Overly expressive - frequent burnouts

Sagittarian's Secret Desire: To make a difference in the world



Description:
Ruled by the benefic planet Jupiter, Sagittarians possess a natural exuberance, sense of adventure and love of life that makes them one of the most optimistic zodiac signs of all. Like their astrological symbol - the Archer - Sagittarians are renowned for aiming their sights towards whatever it is they find alluring - a love partner, dream job, vacation - and making it their own. They believe that anything is possible - and because of this belief system, Sagittarians are adept at seeking out their very own pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

But sometimes trying to tie down these free-spirited individuals is frustrating for those around them. Sagittarians are happiest on the move - exploring new cultures and ideas and many are attracted to occupations related to travel, the media, outdoor work and philosophical pursuits. In love, their catch-cry is "don't fence me in". But once they find a partner who understands their need to retain their own sense of self and identity, Sagittarians can be the most big-hearted, generous and fun-loving companions of all.

Freedom loving, optimistic and honest, Sagittarians are ruled by Jupiter, the planet of abundance and higher learning. The wisdom of Jupiter imbibes Sagittarians with an inherent need to develop their own unique philosophy of life. The Centaur is their astrological symbol, and it gives many insights into the Sagittarian personality. The higher-evolved Sagittarian learns to integrate the two ends of the Centaur (half-human, half-beast) in order for their arrow (another Sagittarian symbol) of higher aspirations to be more on the mark. Although they are intellectually and spiritually advanced, Sagittarians are notorious for their lack of tact. In relationships they demand independence, but when in love, it can't be denied that they are one of the most big-hearted signs of the zodiac.

as always stay tuned-
Cameron

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, whats on Cameron's mind tonight? lets open it up and find out! he is really pissed when he realizes' that he is STILL smoking? what the fuck?

Phil:"hey Johnny"

Johnny:"ya Phil?"

Phil: "i thought that Cameron we've been hearing so much about quit that smoking non-sense?"

Johnny:"nope he's a fool for that nicotine"

now when i tell people I'm going to try to quit again they just roll there eyes, I'm not blaming them by any means, i just really wish i could conquer this evil but hey i guess not. and seeing as I'm once again out of smokes I'm going to try again, maybe I'll get lucky this time...

on a lighter note: Fat People

i know what your thinking: ...OK so i have no idea what your thinking, but hopefully you got a good laugh out of that.

........................Kayla Update.........................

i almost got her to move to Montana the other day but i think she finally got the scam. and wanted to hang out today, but luckily i was saved by my Dad who also wanted to hang out.
oh and she's been Boycotted.
...................thank you for attention that is all......................

so every now and then i run into the stereo typical guy known as the "Good Guy" this species of guy is a dieing breed, eventually they die and become re-born as assholes. i understand this process and i think most of you do to, but i was hoping to dig deeper into this concept. I'll start with a question: if there are good guys out there, where are all the Good girls? you would think the good guys would find the good girls, but i now think they just give up on the search and accept there fate as assholes. tonight as i was 'checking myyearbook' i found the biggest slut on the entire site! (do they hand out awards for that?) do girls want to be known for that? I'm only asking because there has to be some kind of drive for a female to disrespect her body that way, she's not using her boob's responsibly, i would love it if a girl would just be herself and not feel the necessity to be naked all the time. wouldn't you get cold?
i find nothing wrong with being intimate with the one you care about, and I'm not suggesting every girl should turn into a prude (i think that's how you spell it) but how low does a females self confidence and self worth have to be to be forced to use her body to get the attention of guys? were guys! were horn dogs! of course were going to say how "hot sexy and godly" a girls body is-
A. were built that way
B. at that point sex is the only thing on our mind
3. it will then be very hard for us to respect you at all...ever
E. now your confidence goes down again and the process starts over.

So guys remember: your working toward being a Man, not a boy act accordingly.
So girls remember: Be patient That good guy will find you, don't settle for less.


i want a smoke.

Hold that thought its time for a snack pack, i decided to go with butterscotch this time. I'm trying to think of a time i didn't want to go for a snack pack, i didn't even know they had a butterscotch flavor until about 5 days ago, but it was a good call on there part. hmmm 4:30 in the morning and here i am eating a ..beautiful Snack Pack, typing a blog about Snack Packs! then you get that eerie feeling that someone is watching you... then you don't care because you have a Snack Pack. as you look at the snack pack your thinking "ya I'd die while eating you, I'm ok with that." Damn. its gone.

ok so what was i saying....? anyway you get the just of it.

So it seems to me that no one liked that "scary" move except me. it was a good movie, one of the better zombie movies I'd have to say. it was almost more entertaining watching everyone else jump all the time tho. its like when the grudge came out everyone was jumping all the time at school, anyone else remember that? ...ha pissed allot of people off that day.


well that's an interesting feeling. i cant think of any other updates for you, but i still feel the blog is lacking in a satisfactory body.

oh well.

"Whats life? Without a little Cheese-it?"

stay tuned-
Cameron

so this one day.... i desided to write a blog

Whahooooooo! its my one week mark and i really really really really really need a smoke. but since Jorden is so good at not letting me smoke i haven't been able to talk him into letting me get one ..somehow. fuck i want a cig! the glorious tobacco, the smell of the smoke, the stink eye everyone gives you, the risk of death, all of it, i want to smoke, i don't wanna quit.



But i already did.



So this crazy girl wont stop talking to me. cant seem to give her the right hints, i think i am, but apparently I'm not. any tips?



So tonight we decided to drink, don't worry it was just a little bit. i had a shot of my beautiful Jim Beam Whisky. along with a few shots of Grape Vodka. it was nice, went strait to the happy-tipsy stage and stayed there, then watched as Sam tryed to catch up to Me and Jorden, witch he did, ... oh ya he'll have a fun night. i usually have a smoke with my drink so it was hard not to have one this time. and everyone seems to constantly be reminding me that i cant have one and if i have anymore, doesn't help. but it does remind me that i am once again cigarette less. that's like being pant less for all you non-smokers. Sam was making a sandwich earlier thought he was going to end up fingerless. but hey miracles do happen. now he can do all the cool things like flip ppl off, do the mini-me thing, and fix shit. not to mention opening doors.

lucky you guys this is actually two blogs in one! i guess i couldn't blog the other day and now its just flowing like the gods said " you will shit blogs!" so here it is, I'm shitting blogs-

So recently i decided that i really hate stupid ppl. how long do i have to wait till i can have an intelligent conversation with someone other than my friends? I'm not THAT smart? i barley got "C's" I'm a retard compared to most ppl. and here i am solving other ppl's problems like .. well like something clever, (I'm just getting warmed up too!) for example: Kayla?? what the fuck bitch? she has got to be the single dumbest person know to man. not even an understatement. its a wonder to me that she learned the English language. AND can put sentences together! she is 21 fucking yrs old! to put it into perspective: before the election i had a political debate with my 5 yr old younger brother Zach, he wanted Obama to win and he told me several reasons why! she is over 4X's his age! its like she only has one brain cell! as apposed to having 2 where as they can talked to one another and solve problems! this poor cell is just wondering around her brain looking for everyone else. Well someone should install a window into her stomach so she didn't have to take her head out of her ass just to see whats going on! so when she asks me a question and i say "you wouldn't understand" i mean it in a literal sense, like if i actually sat her down and explained shit to her she'd be scratching her head. Nessa i can actually have a convo with you! Alyse (sorry if i spelled it wrong) your 14 yrs old! you have more brain cells than she does! she's got 7 yrs on you and i can have more of a conversation with you! about anything be it ..Vampires or the moon or how to correctly take a shot. shit you even know what a shot is! she has this (talking about Kayla again) bad habit where she likes to tell me horrible things that have happened in her life ...ALL THE TIME. I've heard them all, most of them twice and a few of them are on thirds! like... my dad for example, he is so excited that I'm actually back in the state that he like to take me to lunch once a week and talk to me about life, like a mentor, and its cool ever since i turned 18 he stoped being my parent and started being a mentor. well Kayla ...every week reminds me that she hates her dad when i talk about mine. "I'm sorry for your shitty dad, i really am" is all i end up saying. but EVERY time i bring up my dad she likes to remind me. also she's great at reminding me that i don't have a smoke. THAT DOESN'T HELP. there was a point when (ask my roommates cuz this is true) i was even afraid to get online cuz she never gets offline, ..never 4 am still online, 7 am still online.. 2 pm still online! so i would politely ask Sam to take over the computer and give me some crappy reason for taking it over.

He's a really good friend by the way. Some of his decisions are different from ones i would make myself, but there his to make. and I'm sure he'd say the same about me, we went threw a long time when we hated one another but its just one more thing our friendship has survived. and you could say that about all my roommates. for example: Jorden, if it wasn't for Jorden i would never ..ever quit smoking, he tells it to me strait. i don't like it when he says i cant have a smoke, but its what i need to hear. thanks!

Holy Shit! looks like i have a blog here or something, well until i start shitting blogs again remember: life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.

In the begginning there was..

caution: i have absolutely no idea what I'm about to blog to you about, normally i have something worth writing or thinking about but tonight i suddenly draw a blank. there are times that i could "blog" like no other. don't get me wrong i can think of somethings to blog about but when you edit in the things i wont tell the computer and things you don't want to... well .. fuck that- put your seat belts on and your hands in the air here we go! ok let me lay down some stupid background so you know where I'm coming from, I'm use to being single, i don't have a girlfriend all the time. and I'm perfectly fine with that. i have learned to depend on myself, and i know i can trust myself. i wont let myself down. so i rarely open up to other ppl. you know like a significant other, its not worth letting my self down again. so we went to the mall the other day, to meet a friend i had recently made on my yearbook. well she turned out to be alittle different than i expected, and i think I'm going to leave it at that. but i really don't think I'm going to open up for a long time, this was kinda a trial run if you will just to see ... well if i was ready i guess, but i don't think i was. (clears throat) so I've had sometime to think about life, turns out its an interesting place, doesn't surprise me as often as it used to but every now and then it gets me. do you need a certain gene to blog cuz i don't think i have the right one, its just my open thoughts. i cant help but feel like I'm wasting my time writing them and some poor fool is wasting his time reading them. (sorry) there are so many things i wish i could tell you. silly computer you don't have my trust yet, and its not looking good. point is, i started this blog to help me quit smoking. and I've accomplished that. i don't really want this blog to die but I'm not sure what to blog about anymore, i never had a blog before. i could tell you about me eventful love life? ha ha, or my daily adveners trying not to clumsily hurt myself? i could tell you about the nightmares i still have? or maybe my thoughts about my family? maybe S,S, and,S? or my D,H, and A? but i seriously doubt any of you are even interested. and i don't think there worth the invisible paper it takes to type them on. witch brings us back to the beginning.

thanks again

so i have this problem...

as some of you know i originally started blogging to help with square cravings, a brill ant idea cooked up by Jorden, (thanks again). but you see, not that I HAVE OFFICIALLY QUIT SMOKING CIGARETTES i have no idea what to blog about, maybe something will come to me, but i cant think of a worse hell than to have to read about me ramble on about how my world is interesting, fun or boring, and those that do read this deserve a medal. so if anyone wants to leave a comment on what i should blog about that would be cool, cuz im none just blogging when i have cravings, witch I'll still have. but as far as actually smoking:im done.

Breaking the Habbit

"so here i sit empty hearted had to shit but only farted" this is an interesting way to start a "blog" you might think, it started as i joke i told commonly to friends but after some drunk thoughts i have come to realize the truth, somethings don't happen the way you want them to be, no matter how badly you want them. This is not the case when it comes to smoking cigarettes. after having my first cig in 48 hours i must say...oh ... it was glorious. now i have received all the "squares" I'm going to get until Sunday. a depressing thought to the common smoker. you see in a chess game, first you set up you pieces then plan and carry out minor attacks to cripple the opponent, then plan and set up for the final attack witch if you have planed correctly will give the verdict of a "checkmate". with this theory in mind i have planed to kick the nicotine in the groin thus exposing all vital organs for a full on attack. that's right you've guessed it. (you probably haven't but its ok I'll keep talking anyway) if my plan has been planed correctly ??? (and it is) i should have checkmate within the following week! some might say that i was pretty "friendly" with my last "nicotine injection" 'keep your enemy's closer right? don't say anything (not even to me) for you might jinks it, and this is one of my few chances.

after re-reading that last section I'm not sure it makes much sense but oh well,

Quitin' Smoking

hey everyone my name is Cameron, I'm sure you've all heard of me threw all the important ppl's blogs. this is also my first blog so please be patient with me as I'm sure i don't have any "skill" in this.
Well recently i decided, to quit smoking and have had great moral support threw my friends. Jorden is probably the least lucky of them, he's been stuck listening to me bitch about a cig all day long. you see originally i quit smoking cold turkey and lasted about two weeks then the withdraws got pretty bad. FUCK its hard to quit this shit. but I'm doing a lot better than i thought i would so i give my self minimal credit. So while i was in the middle of bitching about a smoke to Jorden he suggested that i write my "complaints" down in a blog to see if that would help. so far nothing but we'll see where it leads. (sorry you'll have to excuse my A.D.D. if your going to continue reading about my adventurers.) so me and Sam made a deal that i could smoke a cig every 48 hours... ...
i could go for one now. guess I'll have to settle for mt. dew, i have one but if i smoke it I'll be "dry" for another .. 47 hours. so looking out for myself I'm not letting myself smoke you see. you know Doctors used to prescribe certain brands of cigarettes? said it was actually "healthy" for you. what happened? when i started smoking i NEVER thought I'd someday have such an attachment to them, so non-smokers learn from me. Jorden occasionally tells me how tempting it is, or how good the smell is. (it is glorious) but as a friend i don't want him to be tied down by the same chain, and it is a chain. you cant run as fast or nearly as far. lol cant believe I'm laughing about it ether. then part of me argues its my choice, I'm an adult and I'm choosing to smoke, I'm old enough to buy them, its my money, its my habit, like drinking mt. dew, you want one? have one. "i want a cig, I'll have one, there in my jacket, all i have to do is walk over and take one." so i end up going out to smoke one and as soon as i get a few ..ha... glorious drags into it i no longer have the cravings. so i barley finish it. (outside the fact that i smell bad the rest of the day and in mormonville i have to put up with the stares, (ya i notice them too)) so no you don't want any of this, no matter how much you think you do. and this is why i know i need to quit, so i ask everyone for there patients, i am trying, and it is difficult, and I'm almost there. this is the last leg/hurdle/obstacle/note/ or any other stupid word for it, the point is I'm close. i have the desire, and i will be a "non-smoker" here shortly (SO GET OFF MY ASS!) just need some more time and any friendly encouragement i can get. thanks guys!